The Final Half-Hour

First of all, let it be said that *I* would never be one of those "golly geez, didn't this year pass by with a blink of an eye?" people. Hell to the no. A 2 legged turtle with arthritis could outrun the glacial pace 2009 moved at. Where do I even begin recounting the tales of struggles and hardships this sweet lil' boy (I meant me, in case I wasn't specific enough) had to endure before I came to this stage of the sacred 'Final Half-Hour Reflections Time'. There was the looong wait for Mariah's album, which I'm certain made time slow down for a little bit, the A Levels, which I'm certain killed a little piece of my soul, the death of one of the biggest stars in the planet on the fateful June 25... Yes, Farrah, you will forever be missed. (What? Michael who?!) Throw in a recession, the news of Oprah's show ending and the inevitable realization that Twilight was never going to, I was desperate for the year to come to an end.

One of the things I regretted most in this year was probably the tiff in school, that affected some of us emotionally and psychologically. Hell, I wasn't even involved in the little tiff. But mess with ma girls and ya mess with me, geddit, bitch? This is impacting me more than I realize, cause I think I'm starting to sound like a New Yorker pimp. The little argument has effectively ended the friendships of some of us, but seeing how a blossoming new relationship has emerged after it, I'd say it's not entirely a bad thing. Just like how a black hole devouring Earth is not a bad thing.

I think I know why they call me a poisonous bitch now. O well.

The one good thing that came from this year is the end of my junior college days. Those were truly some of the more terrifying and traumatic experiences of my life, not counting the time when I was four and held another woman's hand and called her mom. That definitely tops the list, but JC life comes pretty close. I can't say it was all that enjoyable, apart from the time I spent with some of my school mates. I say some, because *others* just don't get the hint and won't stay away. Or shut up. Or die. I'm totally fine with them choosing any of those, I'm not picky. The 4 hour lunch-and-gossip sessions will be sorely missed. Probably not by the Delifrance staff, though. Or Burger King. Or Subway. Boy, are we a bunch of unwelcome freaks.

2009 is also the last year I would ever be a Singapore Permanent Resident. I enter the new year a complete foreigner, and my law-avoiding days will officially begin. That's right, people. My life is more interesting than yours now. Be very jealous. Live life on the edge of the visa allowance, that's what I say.

I'm running out of time here, only around five minutes left. Writing this is taking longer than I thought it would. Goes to show how much I dilly-dally when writing. I would just go off topic and being rambling about something completely ridiculous. Like ice-cream sundaes. Which are delicious, if i might add. Gives you a warm and fuzzy feeling, to be eating something with the word 'Sunday' in it. Conjures up images of fluffy birds and chirpy puppies.

Ooh I hear fireworks. the new year must be upon us.

Happy new year, darhlings.

Meet James the Alien Foreigner!

2009 will probably go down in the history books as the year of deaths. Everyone's (and by everyone, I mean the people who matter, of course. Like, celebrities.) dropping dead left and right. Golden Girls' star Bea Arthur, Charlie's Angels' star Farrah Fawcett, Clueless star Brittany Murphey, and of course, Michael Jackson. His untimely and shocking demise at the hands of his halfwit doctor has devastated the world. Another death, however, has managed to surpass the devastating effects of even the King of Pop's passing.

I am talking, of course, about the death of my PR status. *Cue dramatic background music*

Okay, so Mariah won't sing at the memorial, no one will cry, Kenny Ortega won't try to make money out of it, the legendary 'Are We Singaporeans Or Are We Not' ranch won't be converted into a theme park. But still.

It feels very weird now, not being affiliated with Singapore anymore, in any way. Sure, the other members of my whole family holds Singapore Citizenship, but whatever. After hiding behind a front of 'permanent residency', I feel as though I've now been thrust out into the world. There's even a thirty day limit, after which I would probably be jailed for staying here. You might gasp in horror and ask how can I possibly stay here for a while longer, because I sure know the pain of losing me to another country is pure torture;) The plan, ladies and gentlemen, is to apply for a long-term social visit pass. it seems outrageous, to make me apply for a visit pass to stay in my own house. Preposterous, some might say. But some also might say that my 18 year plan to avoid NS is manipulative and devious. Which I would then respond by saying, you bet your ass it is.

"You want to CANCEL your PR?" The receptionist asks, as if I could mispronounce it.

"Yes, darhlin, cancel. As in.. abolish, abort, ax, black out, blot out, break off, cross out, deface, do away with, do in, efface, eliminate, eradicate.. Are you getting the picture here? Cause I sure as hell ain't."

Handing over my Blue IC is definitely up there with all the most traumatic experiences of my life. Along with, getting stalked, getting my first facial, getting a tan (it causes skin cancer!), getting a blow job (the blow dryer really made my hair look terrible).. You get the idea. She put my IC in a plastic baggie and kept it away, like it was evidence at a crime scene or something. I would never get to see my gorgeous face on that card again. But then, I never saw a gorgeous face on that card to begin with, so I guess it's not that traumatic if you think about it.

And there you have it. As i sit here and write this load of crap, I am so relieved that I would never have to set foot in a jungle (against my will, of course. There are *things* I wanna try in a jungle, none of them involving thick uniforms. Then again...), never have to shave off my head, never have to crawl through the mud in a mock attempt at 'finding the enemy (The enemies primarily reside in government buildings, jungles are obviously the wrong places to look) and never have to call anyone 'Sir'.

Well, maybe not the last one ;)

What Star Wars Should Have Been (by SciForums)

A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke’s hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there’s nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No, Luke… I am your father!

Luke: No. It can’t be. That’s not true. That’s impossible!

Darth Vader: Search your feelings Luke… you know them to be true.

Luke: NOOoooo!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true… and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes… Threepio… I built him… when I was 7 years old.

Luke: No! … Wait, huh?

Darth Vader: Seven years old. And what have you done? Look at yourself. No hand. No job. And you couldn’t evenlevitate your own ship out of the swamp…

Luke: But… I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: But that was when you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed an entire Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it’s not my fault…

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go… “Poor me… my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday… boo hoo, my daddy’s the Dark Lord of the Sith… Nobody loved me… waahhh wahhh!”

Luke: Shut up!

Darth Vader: You’re a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had already exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar’s Canyon.

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor… 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open… the only human to ever fly a Pod Racer… right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong… You’re not my kid… I don’t know whose you are, but you sure ain’t mine.

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks down after him.

Darth Vader: And get a haircut!

Album Cover - Sueno Acustico

This is the album cover I did for my acoustic covers. I love the whole, nature-y feel of it. Very organic and real. Of course, I didn't play the guitar myself, so that ruins the whole element of real-ness.

Vintage Movies Galore

There's something very endearing and romantic about old movies. The crap they come up with nowadays (New Moon, anyone?) is barely watchable. Hence I'm going back to the older stuff, days when the words film and quality could stil be used in a same sentence. Of course, if 'quality-load-of-crap' is a word, it could be used with Hannah Montana too.

I watched my first black and white movie today. It's nice to see the world from the eyes of a dog (and no jokes about how I see the world from the eyes of a bitch, even if it may be true) now and then. I'd bought a collection of Marilyn Monroe (may she rest in peace) movies at Grammaphone, and one of the movies is 'Monkey Business'. She doesn't have a very big role in it, and is more of supporting character.

The movie stars Cary Grant, one of THE biggest male movie stars of the days of yore, as a chemist. He was working on a rejuvenating drug that can restore people to the vitality and vigor of their younger days, but to no particular success. When he wasn't looking, a lab chimpanzee called Ester (I don't know how that's relevant) escaped from her cage and mixed a bunch of chemicals together, then poured the mixture into a water cooler. See, i just knew chimpanzees are products of the devil. They rip your face off, and will poison your drink if they get the chance.

Cary and his wife try the drug on themselves, and also took some water to wash it down. The youth drug works to hilarious results, though none of them know it's the effects of the water. Madcap adventures ensues as they revert back to the personality of their younger selves.

Marilyn, as usual, was adorably stunning and delightful to watch. She's really perfected the role of the ditzy blonde, although in the black and white film, her hair is a weird shade of grey. Funny how her hair is not even blonde to begin with, but she's regarded as the most iconic blonde of the twentieth century.

The next film in the collection I'm gonna watch is All About Eve, the famous Bette Davis film that won as many Oscars as Titanic, and one of Mariah's personal favorites =)

The theatrical trailer for Monkey Business:

My Bra (well not *my* bra, per se)

I never knew that My Bra could actually be used as the title of such a touching song. Kara Dioguardi wrote this for the breast cancer movement. She explains the title in the video. Triumph should really use this as their promo song.

The Tale of the Sparrow and the Dung

"Once upon a time, a sparrow was flying south for the winter. Along the way, it got so cold that it froze solid and fell to the ground. To make matters worse, a cow took a dump on the sparrow. The warmth of the dung melted the sparrow, and it was happy and warm, so it started singing. A passing cat heard the sparrow, so it dug the sparrow out and ate it."

Lovely story.

The moral of the story is: those who dump crap on you arn't necessarily your enemies, and those who dig you out of the crap arn't necessarily your friends. Also, keep your mouth shut when you're happy and warm.

Fame

Fame thrills.

The exhilaration of thousands screaming your name. The pride swelling in your chest, knowing all these people waited hours just to catch a glimpse of you. The glowing satisfaction within you as you make someone's entire year, just with a smile and a wave. To see your name on the internet without having to Google for it. And to see more than one relevant page when you do Google for it.

Fame pays the bills.

All the worldly possessions you can possibly want. Material needs so well taken care of that you become numb to the satisfaction of fulfillment. A walk in your garden peppered with Victorian antiques, a crystal fountain bubbling champagne, a dip in the pool followed with a shiatsu in the patio. With a masseur flown in from Japan, naturally.

Fame chills.

It is lonely at the top. Who has the time or energy to make friends, with a chaotic circus constantly crammed around you. Who is truly there for you, and who is there to exploit you. Withdraw into your own shell, a cocoon of defense.

Fame kills.

Many ultimately destroyed by their very reason for being. Without entertaining, entertainers would not be themselves, would not have a purpose in life. The path towards true meaning in their lives also led to the brightest stars' untimely departure.

The Dark Lord is Coming!

"Hello! So, as a.. you're a student right... okay. As a student, do you care for your future?"

Those were the first words out of her mouth the moment I answered the door. In fact, I wasn't even sure if she said hello.

"Umm, yes?" I replied.

"Great! So how do you ensure that your future is a bright one?"

"By studying? Which I need to get back to." I did the subtle-yet-obvious watch glance, then realized too late that I wasn't wearing a watch.

"Studying, huh! Right, so we study because we need to equip ourselves with knowledge, so we can get more material things right?"

"Yeeeesss?" Seriously, is there a question she asks that doesn't require an affirmative response. And I still didn't know where this was going. Is she some sort of assessment book sales lady?

"Good good, right lets take a look at the bible...." Ahh... It's all so clear to me now. Preachers. Normally, if it were ice-cream salesmen or drug pushers, I would have just given them a 'I really wanna, but I don't have the money' look and shut the door. But preachers, you gotta have some fun with them.

"Okay, found it!" She was flipping through the bible looking for a verse.

"Read this!" She shoved the book in my face and I was forced to read a paragraph about wisdom and its uses.

"Soooo, what do we all need?" The woman looks at me hopefully, while her finger is pointing to the word 'wisdom'. I gave her the 'are you fucking serious' look but I think she's been doing this long enough to learn how to ignore it.

I finally relent. 'Is it wisdom?' I said. Like I was on wheel-of-fortune or something.

"That's right!" Yippee, I win a trip to the Bahamas. I'd much rather win a cow prod to zap the woman. She goes on.

"Wisdom is what we need, as it says so in the BIIIIBLEEE (you know, the way they stress bible into a 4 syllable word). You see, it's such an important book. The word of God is recorded here. We all need widom, don't you agree with me?"

Finally, a time I can say 'no'. "I do agree that we need wisdom, but I don't believe we need it because it is what the bible says. We need food and air, regardless or not the bible recommends it."

The woman was slightly taken aback. She composes herself and fearlessly pushes on. "But you see, if we study the bible, we will know more about.."

"I cannot agree with a lot of the things the bible is saying.."

"For example?" She has the nerve to interupt me.

"Well, for example, the part about the slaves? About how it is an alright thing to do? About how to obtain slaves, how hard you can beat them, and when you can have sex with the female slaves?" She gives me a look like as if she's never heard of the book of Leviticus, Exodus, Ephesians, Timothy and Luke, all of which mention slavery in a positive light.

For once, she's quiet. I push on.

"Also, I cannot accept the part where homosexuality is condemned. All the 'if a man lies with another man as he would with a woman, then they shall both be put to death for their blood guiltiness is upon them' stuff. People are people. If God created every one of us, wouldn't he love us equally? Why would those who break the commandments be condemned to eternity in hell? And yet he still 'loves' us?" I ramble off a quote to scare her.

She actually brightens up at the mention of hell, which kinda scares me. "Right! Hellfire. Well you see, actually hell is something the churches are advocating, but it is actually not mentioned in the bible. God actually says in one part that he never meant for the pagans to burn their criminals, and that it was never his intention..."

"God is powerful enough to create the entire universe, and yet he watches helplessly as a group of primitive people set fire to each other. Right. And why would the church preach something that is not even in the bible then? Isn't the whole point of going to church to learn more about your religion? What's the whole point if they're wrong?"

The woman is starting to get flustered. She looks to her partner for help but the other one is retreating further into the distance.

I've barely ranted enough, but my mom came back at that point and I know she wouldn't let me keep torturing them.

"Alright, I guess this is just not the right faith for me. I had fun talking to you guys though, thank you for coming!" I slowly itch the door close.

"You don't have to choose your faith now! Maybe we can come back again with magazines... or.."

"Goodbye!" And the door slams shut.

I sure hope they come back again. Maybe the next time I'll fake a demonic seizure and start yelling "THE DARK LORD IS GOING TO GET YOU! THE DARK LORD IS COMING!". They would think I'm talking about Satan, but of course I'm talking about Voldermort.

Dollhouse

Joss Whedon has done it again. From the creator of Buffy, Angel, Firefly and Serenity comes this amazing new show, Dollhouse. Its about this organization where volunteers have their minds wiped clean, and depending on the client's needs, they have differnt personas imprinted on them to suit different assignments. It could vary from being the perfect lover, to an assassination job, to being a bodyguard or a safe-cracker, all depending on what the client needs.

The 'Actives', as they're called in the show, are people who have volunteered five years of their lives to the Dollhouse, in exchange for a gigantic paycheck and solutions to all their problems. People who feel that they have no where else to go come to Dollhouse and give up those years, while not truly knowing what they're signing up for.

The Dollhouse is a very serene and tranquil haven for the Actives. It is designed to be extremely soothing, to allow the Actives to have zero conflict and shock when they're in the mind-wiped state. They even have yoga sessions on the patio upon the pond. And the best part is, they all shower together, male and female, cause in their blank state they supposedly have no desires or emotions. An erection or two subsequently proved them wrong.

It's a very dark show and it explores issues on moral ethics and identity. Can who a person is be changed just because she doesn't have memories of who she was? Or is character and personality something that goes deeper than surface consciousness? The beautiful and terrifying part about this is that the Actives truly believe they're the person they've been imprinted with, which makes them completely honest and real. This raises the question of how real they are, when they have been programmed to be real.

My Christmas Album Cover

This is the cover I designed for my Christmas songs! I love the pun of peace and piece. Cause you know, we should spread peace during Christmas, and all that crap.

Say It To My Face : A Poem

I can tell once again that you’re lying

Just from the fact that your mouth is moving

So tired of hearing the stories, it makes me sad

Each chipping away at the impression I once had

What gross creature are you becoming

Is this new, or are your true colors revealing

It makes me sick now to see you smile

For I know your intentions are disgustingly vile

For someone so short, you tell amazingly tall tales

Of splendid legends and fantastical fairytales

How many others have been fooled by you

You two headed snake, you worthless tool

What do you get out of these charades and games

The disguises and tricks, pushing the blame

Your cowardly acts are pitiful to watch

When your lies are as obvious as a flaming torch

“Why you so obsessed with me”

If I were to quote Mariah Carey

"All up in my business", asking this, asking that

My social life is your priority, I find that sad

Unless you’re hopelessly in love with me

I see no reason for a fuss over sexuality

My presence got you caught up in a daze

You’ve got something against me, say it to my face

Like an alcoholic in a liquor store

You can’t get enough of what you should deplore

Drowning in your own pits of deception

Your failed attempts at cries for attention

No, I don’t want to be the ‘bigger’ person

I’ll stab you in the back, just give me half a reason

Yes, I do want to sink to your level

In your despondent cries of despair, I’ll revel

Is your half developed brain really that weak

Why can’t you make up your mind for more than a week

Your sworn enemy becomes your BFF by magic

Why not change your sex while you’re at it

You won’t be the last to betray me

People like you there’ll always be plenty

Judases are like misery

Go ahead, keep that other one company

Mariah Talks Eminem 'Hypothetically'

"Eight years ago, maybe I met that person kind of in a very platonic way and yet they're still using my name in songs in order to boost their career which I don't think is working so my thing is if I write a song and it's called "Why are you obsessed with me?" and people are seeing that person in the song? That's not my problem... Truly it's just obsession. I mean, I don't even know who we're talking about. I'm just using a hypothetical example of just like anybody who would write a song about somebody and try to say nasty, disgusting things about them eight years later when they're married. I was like I don't think so."

S

Simple
Savor
Secret
Somber
Special
Sabbath
Sanctuary
SURVIVOR

Cameron Diaz Saves The World

Cameron does her part for the environment =)

New Fashion Sketches

First up, we have one left hand side a dress inspired by the whole rugged mountaineer fur jacket look, with the jacket ending midriff, with baggy high-waist pants. Its a very mannish look. And in contrast with that, we have the princessy look on the right. I came up with that actually as a joke, to ask Jaystine to put that extremely girly dress on for prom.

Next, we have the peasant styles. I'm quite entranced by the looks of the commoners and workers of the renaissance period, and did these two sketches to reflect the 'styles' of that time. The left side one is more masculine, with the Aladdin styled pants and vest, and feathers, while the right side one has more feminine milk-maid look. It reminds me of the good ole' days of simpler times, where the biggest problem they had to deal with was 'who milks the cow today'.

Here on the bottom left we have sort of a cargo pants / jumpsuit hybrid. It starts off as a jacket-styled top, but then as it progresses down it becomes cargo pants. It began as two seperate pieces but I decided to just combine them and make it more ridiculous. The one on the right is inspired by Russian military coats, infused with the russian doll sleeves.

Poem: "Not This Time"

Like an amateur, unwary
I opened up and let you in
Shot me down, once and again
Efficient as a deadly assassin
Mesmerizing me, challenged boundaries
Showed me two of a kind beats a straight
Deluded in thinking I was in control
Trump was in your hand instead

Promised me king
But I was a pawn
A piece in your egomaniac game
Plaything to be forgotten by dawn
My unguarded naive past
Caught off guard by your childish behavior
Wounds became my armor
Funnily enough, your actions were my savior

Bring it on, I'm ready now
That endless onslaught of abuse
But it won't affect me anymore
Haven't you deduced?
Betray me, why won't you?
Try again to rob me blind
But you can't suceed, sorry honey
I won't allow it, not this time

Twelfth Night(mare) Act 1

Act 1 Scene 1
[The beach, Greece]
Enter Lucas, Yew Siang and Kin Onn

Lucas: Roses are red
Violets are blue
I wanna marry you
And screw you too

YS: Oh, Lucas, the loving gaze in your eye
Brightens my day like the sun in my sky

KO: Rawr! Rugby!

YS: Be quiet, foolish one
Will you only shut up when the day is done?

Lucas: Come, my dear one,
We’ll escape into the sunset
Get married by the seaside
And at night we’ll have great sex

KO: Yes!

YS: Yes!

Lucas: Yew Siang, I was talking to,
Kin Onn, I’ll never love you
An affair or two has been fun
But you’re impotent, and will never give me sons
Come, my darling Yew Siang!

[Exeunt]

Act 1 Scene 2
[In a manger full of hay (like where Jesus was born)]
Enter Lucas, Yew Siang, Kin Onn and Doctor Lawrence

YS: Never once in my sexual escapades
Have I felt a pain so great
Three babies pushing out of my private place
Why won’t they give me a fucking break

Lawrence: They’re not coming out. How can this be happen?

Lucas: Push harder, you useless bitch!
This birth must go off without a hitch

KO: Ooh! The blood scares me!

Lucas: Shut up, you brainless head!
Will you only be quiet when you’re dead?

-Lucas shoots Kin Onn in the head. Kin Onn dies. -

YS: Take me now, dark Hades of hell
Just bless my children with utmost wealth

-Yew Siang dies-

Lawrence: Come on, guys. Time for Caesarean! Ripped untimely from the womb!

-Lawrence saws off Yew Siang’s leg-

Lucas: As useless as a doctor as a math teacher, I see
Stop all these nonsense, leave my wife be

-Lucas shoots Lawrence. Lawrence dies-

Lucas: My dear children, you’re finally here
At last I can go drink my ice cold beer.

[Exeunt]

Act 1 Scene 3
[A marketplace in Italy]
Enter Lucas, with three young children, Yiling, Junzhi and James

YL: The busy market
Stink of the fish is so strong
I want to go home

JZ: Fret not, sister
Here’s a flower, it’ll be better

Lucas: Look, children; cotton candy!
Have some and all’ be dandy

Shopkeeper: Come, children, cotton candy!
Have some and all’ be dandy!

Lucas: I just said that, you goon
Think of something more original
Or I’ll hit you with a spoon

James: Pray calm down, old man
Buy the candy or I’ll bite your hand

Lucas: Such utter insolence!
On you three bastards I’ll never spend a pence!

JZ: Beer money you spend on
But your children you don’t dote on

YL: I do not like you
A tyrannical father
I want to kill you

Shopkeeper: Here, brave children!
Use my knife
End this old bastard’s
Meaningless life

YL: Hand the knife to me
I have been dreaming of this
Despicable fool!

James: Sister, give it to me
This is no sight for a lady to see

-Yiling stabs Lucas-

Lucas: Young fry of treachery!
She has killed me, shopkeeper

-Lucas dies-

Shopkeeper: Come on, children, the candy’s on me
For killing that fool you’ll get it free

[Exeunt]

note: Yiling speaks in Haikus

Bandslam is Slammin!

I never thought I'd actually say this, but I was wrong about Bandslam. I thought it was just gonna be another one of those typical teen flicks where they break out in song and dance and jiggle their problems away, ala High School Musical. I'm not gonna lie and pretend to hate HSM, when I really did enjoy the silliness of it all, but to set the record straight, I really thought Bandslam was better.

The story starts off with Will, this loser in life and looks (not to be superficial and judgmental, but you gotta believe me, this is NOT the face of a model to be), who feels so pressurized at his old school and town that he begs his mother to move to another state. At the new school, he meets two gorgeous girls who're determined to be his friend. A totally likely scenario of course. Well, duh, naturally the two most beautiful girls in school are gonna go for the new ugly loser. What, you thought they'd be interested in the actual good looking guys? Oh puhlease.

So anyways, after Charlotte(one of the hot girls) finds out about Will's vast musical knowledge, she makes him the manager of her band. He recruits a few more people and makes it into a really big nice band, and they want to join this competition, Bandslam. Apparently, the winner gets a real record deal, so I would assume that makes it a really big thing.

The way Will tells the story is mostly through letters to his idol, David Bowie. Its an interesting way to show how he interprets events in his deluded attempt to 'connect' with his favorite singer. As it turns out, the actions of Will's father impacted his life horribly, and the people in his previous town were all angry at him for it. The story follows the story of how he overcame the shadows of his father's actions, and how he proves to himself that he is better than that.

Lisa Kudrow gave a beautiful performance (of course she did, it's Phoebe Buffay, for the love of Oprah) as the mother troubled about her son's inability to fit in. The scene when she tells Charlotte to fuck off (obviously she didn't say that, but as a blogger I have my creative license okay) and stop bothering her son (cause of something horrid Charlotte did) was just perfect.

Overall verdict: Exceeded my expectations, but I was expecting pretty bad. Decent show, ain't gonna remember it by next week but it was still good fun.

My Favourite Things

Revisiting 'The Sound Of Music', I realized you can actually sing a song about your favourites to make yourself feel better. But I hardly like raindrops on roses, bright copper kettles or whiskers on kittens. So, I decided to come up with my own version of more practical things to love. Sing it to the tune of the original song =)

Ellen on TV and Mariah singing
Dancing in moonlight with no shred of clothing
Rachel Green, Phoebe and Chandler Bing
These are a few of my favorite things

People who don't smile and those with no eyebrows
Stalking my neighbor while riding a milk cow
Flirting with strangers and casual flings
These are a few of my favorite things

Stealing some money from a wishing fountain
Sex with a blond on the peak of a mountain
Slutty girls, I'd like to poison their drinks
These are a few of my favourite things

When the grades drop, when I can't sing,
when I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
and then I don't feel so bad.

The original song:

The Arrival of Whitney's New Album

Whitney's comeback has finally happened. After talking about it for years, that lazy girl (girl's stretching it a tad, but whoever said 45 year olds can't be called girls) FINALLY decides to get off her ass and head to the studio. Her first album in 7 years, titled I Look To You, is mostly filled with uptempo tracks about love and some mellower ones about how she overcame it all. "I crashed down, and I tumbled, but I did not crumble". Funny, you'd think she was talking about troubles that the world has dumped on her, and not ones that were self induced. But I'm pretty sure drug abuse falls under the second category.

The title track, I Look To You, written by child molester R Kelly, is one of the above mentioned 'I'm stronger than all that' songs. There's some of that famous falsetto, but it's quite obvious that her voice has significantly deteriorated. One of my personal favorites is Million Dollar Bill, contributed by Alicia Keys. It has some of that 80s feel to it, with an extremely catchy hook. Another one is Worth It, saying how when love brings you up when you're down, you know it'll all be worth it.

It's a nice enough effort at a comeback album, but there's no way this can beat Mariah's. Most of the songs in I Look To You are not very memorable, and the musical arrangement is average at best, nothing spectacular. Also, the tracks sound a little dated, and irrelevant. Whitney doesn't write nor produce her own songs, and it's quite obvious that her true personality does not shine through in her songs.

Enjoyable album, but Mariah's gonna win this one.

'The Proposal' Is Amazing!

No, I wasn't talking about my own proposal. I don't foresee that in my near future. What I was referring to is the new movie starring Sandra Bullock and Betty White. I remember there’s a guy too, but he’s hardly important. The only relevant people are Betty and Sandra, in that order.

Sure, Betty may be the old grandma, but she definitely steals the show. As many young and blissfully ignorant youngsters today are unaware of, Betty is in fact a legendary actress, among the ranks of Dame Judi Dench, Meryl Streep and Maggie Smith. Betty is known for her dark streak behind that innocent façade, and she uses this perfectly in the movie. The emotion she manages to convey work beautifully, but of course, with decades of experience behind her, she probably already knows it will.

On to the story. The plot focuses on how dominatrix boss Sandra forces Ryan to marry her, so she can avoid deportation back to Canada. Madcap adventures are encountered by them as they head to Ryan’s parents’ place (a gigantic ‘place’, I might add) and try to pass off as a real couple. Hot on their heels is this annoying asshole who needs to check if their marriage is real, in order to grant them their marriage license. You would think he’d have better things to do.

The absolutely most hilarious part is when Sandra gets dragged by Betty to do an Earth worship chant around a bonfire. Sandra goes completely nuts and loses all her inhibitions as she boogies to ‘Get Low’ with the old granny (poor thing, doesn’t know what she got herself into). That scene alone makes the admission worth the price. Other notable parts include the lie they tell about how Ryan proposes, with both of them trying to outwit each other, and the part where they run into each other naked.

The movie also has its heartwarming moments. The scene when Betty gives Sandra a necklace (which was given to Betty’s grandma) almost made me tear up. Sandra was so overwhelmed with the guilty of knowing what she has done will eventually devastate the family, and almost reveals her plan.

It was an incredible, amazing experience to have such fun in the cinema, laughing with everyone. Kinda like a family watching a movie together, except the only person’s name I know there is Damian. And James, naturally, since that’s my own name, but.. You get what I mean.

Overall verdict: Not the most original movie, nor will it win any Oscars, but its definitely the funniest movie I’ve seen in a long time.

Mariah's new song!

It's a fantastic cover of Foreigner's I Want To Know What Love Is, with amazing powerful vocals and unbelievable high notes. Her voice is back!

SIGNS: A short film

A really sweet romantic short film I came across, practically contains no dialogue but it manages to convey everything beautifully.

Procrastination: A Poem

I wrote this during the math paper =) It's the reason I have so much time.

"I should get studying"
Pushed out of my mind
The day is early
I've got tons of time

Just a few notes to read
I can get through that, no problem
Meanwhile let's find
A way to rid this boredom

You expect me to revise
When I'm still having breakfast?
Just one quick glance
From 9 to 10 it's 'Ellen DeGeneres'

I'm still woozy and sleepy
Can barely even think
Maybe E-News might help
Watch some starlets on the brink

"You should be studying"
I heard my conscience say
With new resolve I head to my room
But lost half of it along the way

"Come read my daily news online"
Mariah's voice floats in
Not that I want to,
But to ignore her would be a sin

I promised myself
Ten minutes is all I allow
But three hours later
I'd completely forgotten that vow

"I absolutely must begin studying,
It's now or never!"
As i repeated that to myself
I logged on to messenger

It's now nightfall
The day is done
As for the studying
I've barely begun

At least now I'll have time
During the examination
To write a whole poem
on succumbing to procrastination

Vanessa Hudgens VS Dane Cook

Now, we've all established a thousand million years ago that Vanessa Hudgens isn't as innocent as her bookish on screen alter ego, Gabriella. Nude pics of her was leaked sometime ago, and just when we all thought she'd finally turn over a new leaf, she once again shocks (more like pleasantly surprised) the entertainment world with 'This is what Zac is getting', round 2. Okay, so everyone knows she's an idiot, firstly for taking those pictures and then for allowing them to be leaked. Hollywood clearly doesn't receive any news from its Asian counterpart, or dear Edison's tragic little story would have taught her something.

At the recent Teen Choice Awards, Dane Cook (some pathetic loser that nobody even knew existed) was on stage, and he was calling out for Vanessa. She gleefully waved at him, thinking someone was finally going to say something nice about her. The whole thousand strong crowd turned their attention at her, some even cheered. The crass and immature nonsense that spewed out of his mouth, however, was "You gotta keep your clothes on, man." The poor girl's expression immediately changed, and as strange as it seems, I actually felt a bit for the little slut.

So she has her entire naked body leaked onto the internet for the world to enjoy. Does that justify humiliating her in front of thousands of kids just for his 30 seconds of fame? What has he accomplished by first calling her out and then shaming her, other than to get himself onto all the entertainment stories? Well, he certainly has succeeded, but does he stop to think about how much he has hurt her? She may be an idiot, but she certainly has feelings too. Sure, Nickelodeon has cut that scene from TV, but it's rampant everywhere online. To mention her by name, point her out in a crowd, and then dump that kind of shit on her is beyond despicable. It actually did break my heart a little.

Do people have no empathy anymore? His joke wasn't even remotely tasteful, or humorous. They always talk about 'comic timing' in comedy. It's the timing that was important, and clearly, that wasn't the time, nor the place, to be bringing up the many skeletons in her closet. Some even say she deserves it. I wouldn't argue with you if you say she deserves being stripped (interesting choice of words) of her 'role model' status for Disney kids. But does she deserve such public humiliation? No one does. No one is going to defend her actions, because what she has done is obviously wrong, but are Dane Cooks' actions any more morally upright than hers?

Grow up, Dane. Seriously.

My Neighbour is a Schizophrenic

Guess what I found out today! My family apparently abuses our neighbor by:

- setting our dog on her
- cutting off her plants when it blooms
- forbiding her from joining a Buddhist organization
- forcing her to join a satanic cult
- threatening her if she reuses
- scaring her so much that she doesn't dare to return home

Boy do we have issues. That is, if you trust the words of a schizophrenic.

I never thought i would actually encounter any member of the highly expansive mentally ill club, but that's exactly what the seemingly innocent looking old granny (that lives in the apartment next to our's) turn out to be. That explains why she gave me the 'AHHH IT'S THE SPAWN OF THE DEMON' look when I said hi to her in the life. She was probably debating if she could take me out in a fist fight if I decided to tear her into pieces and eat her up.

She really shouldn't blame someone else for her lack of botany skills. Though, of course it would only be natural for her to think we did that to her. Happens all the time, doesn't it. Neighbors who are jealous of your beautiful cactus and decide to snip off all the little spikes.

"Hey, is that a new breed of cactus?"

"Nah, my neighbor did that."

"Oh, tough luck for you. Yeah, I have horrible neightbors too. At least yours didn't feed poison lollipops to your granddaughter."

As for the satanic cult thing, she only has herself to blame. We're just trying to show her the true path to heaven, and the silly old bird refuses. Don't they always say the fastest way to heaven is to find hell's door? We're showing her the bloody door and she refuses to bulge. Only option left is to give her a gigantic shove, to give her a little encouragement. Old people can be soooo tough to persuade. Now she thinks we're threatening her. Hello, blood thrown on your front door can hardly be counted as threatening. I mash your son's finger into your potatoes and only tell you after you're done eating it, now that's a threat.

I fear for my life now. Like, seriously. What if one day, dear old granny decides it's time to rid the world of evil, one neighbor at a time? She might decide to put on her Supergirl costume, and I don't think my poor brain can handle an 80 year old in that outfit. I'll just drop to to ground and die.

Don't do that to me, old granny!

A Couple That Dances Together, Stays Together

This is one of the most amazing and romantic things I've seen in my whole long life of 18 years. This family, instead of walking solemnly and lifelessly down the aisle to the mind-numbingly cliche wedding march, chooses to jiggle and boogie to the tune of Chris Brown's Forever. After this video became a youtube sensation, the family made use of this opportunity to promote an anti-domestic-violence cause, pleading husbands NOT to be like Chris Brown. Very nice touch =)

Forever Your (nonsense-sprouting) Girl

American Idol's never going to be the same again. Paula just released a statement on Twitter saying that she couldn't reach an agreement with the AI producers, and hence she has decided to ditch it. This, people, is what Twitter is for. Not for your constant updates on how much you love chocolate-frosted cake, cause unless you're Britney Spears, WE DON'T CARE.

Kara, thankfully, is still staying on. Looks like they would rather have the cheaper and more knowledgeable judge than the expensive and bullshit-sprouting one. But that's what we all love and hate her for, and its the main reason why anyone (fine, I) would watch it. I was looking forward to seeing how she continues to age backwards while Simon and Randy slowly become wheelchair bound. But those producers are really quite sexist. Simon's getting paid more than thirty million dollars for being rude, while Drunkla Abdul is only awarded a measely 2 million for her efforts. If Nigel was still around, he would never have let this happen.

Who's gonna provide the true entertainment of the show now? Randy's gonna be all, 'Dawg, I feel that, that was not the right song choice for me, for you..' (for the record, Randy, if you already said that it's what you feel, obviously you meant for you), Kara's gonna be all technical with the 'your pitch is right on', and Simon's just gonna be his usual 'that was like ordering a hamberger and only getting the bun' (and they claim Paula's sprouting nonsense?).
That's all fine and dandy for the judging part, but what about all the not so relevant but equally important

- "All you can do is the best you can do."
- "That may not be your best performance, but you look AMAZING and that is what's important"
- "I loved the color of your performance. It was a combination of all my favourite colors, like a rainbow"
-"You showed versatility And you still stayed true to who you are. What a concept!"

Just watch this video and you'll know what I'm talking about. (And it featured the shortest performance I've ever seen. One note and she goes on rambling like a lunatic)

and all the fighting with Simon...

- "I don't give a crap what you have to say"
-"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" (articulate girl, ain't she)

... and we obviously can't forget that she has psychic powers and is able to judge performances before they even happen. NOW explain to me why she's not worth twenty million dollars. What competition wouldn't need a clairvoyant judge who can also use 'agility', 'substitution', 'brilliance', 'decadence', 'instinctual', 'consummate professional', 'balladeer, 'intonation', 'masterfully effortless' and 'the palette of what you're wearing' in a sentence?

It's never gonna be the same again.

MJ Dance Tribute

This was a while ago, around right after his death. Just thought it was very very cool. The looks on people's faces when they realize they're SURROUNDED by the dancers. Gives me a certain amount of sadistic pleasure.

Her Heart So Black

Intro

Another poem =) This 'project', or whatever this is, originated around a month ago. Damian and I came up with this 'rule', that 16 song titles, each of us providing 8, must be included in the poem to make it more challenging. The content is loosely inspired by events that took place over the past 5 months. It may seem like I'm exaggerating, but you'll be shocked (like, AHHH WHAT THE HELL! kind of shocked) if you knew just how much worse the actual 'events' were.

That being said, any likenesses to actual people and events are purely fictional, except for the parts that are not.

Content

Writing to condemn has never been easy
No one likes how this turned out to be
The beautiful ones only you see
For whom you sacrifice knows no boundaries
Never really liked I told you so-s
But her insatiable evil even you should know
Ridiculous, it's shouldn't hurt so much
Were so close, camaraderie only amounted to such

Months of persuasion fell on deaf ears
From our circus you eventually disappear
'Shake if off' was your new attitude for us
There was no doubt, we now know a Judas
Piece of me fell to betrayal for your sake
But so what? The heartless' one's heart was at stake
Become another tool at her disposal
Disposal you'll go, don't expect a proposal

Lady Marmalade, her laugh drives you insane
She's crazy for attention, desperate for fame
Immature little boys get little crushes, how sweet
She'll crush them after she takes what she needs
Her toxic touch poisons your judgment
Building air castles with a passion so fervent
Increasingly impossible to pull you back
Save you from her heart so black

Five months we've pleaded
Five months you've ignored
How many months more
Of discord can you afford

I watched Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, nyah nyah nyah

I'm totally mature, as you can see.

Today's the release of the new Harry Potter movie, HP and the Half Blood Prince. About freaking time, I would say. Two years is a long long time to wait for a movie. Obviously, after two years of waiting around, you can't expect me to sit around and wait some more when Emma is waiting for me to go see her. Which is why Thursday afternoon found our class rushing to Orchard to see her (well, not totally her, of course. Prof McGonagall too. We don't forget our old darlings.)

And the show begins! Death Eaters flying around in puffs of black smoke (totally cool graphics, except I don't think that's how they really move around. I always had the impression that they rode donkeys) and destroying bridges; Diagon Alley... I don't know why, but I get this thrill of exhilaration as I watch the Dark Lord's underlings bring utter desolation upon England. Hopefully it's only cause I'm excited about the movie starting. I refuse to believe that I'm evil on the inside.

Helena Carter appears! Gosh I love her. She's Bellatrix (reminds me of a certain cereal), auntie of naughty boy Draco Malfoy. Her dark, lunatic, magnetic presence just fills the screen as she prances and slithers around, be it setting the Burrow on fire or wrecking the Great Hall.

Emma is turning out to be quite the lady! Who would have thought the brainy, bushy haired little girl could turn out to be the most beautiful one in the whole movie (and yes, Transformageeks. She's hotter than Megan-watch my boobs bounce in slow mo-Fox). Ginny Weasely practically looks like a troll next to her. And the 2 male leads. Gosh. Puberty wasn't kind, that's all I'll say.

Zam! Dumbledore is dead. Funny how I don't feel any remorse for him. Probably it's cause the actor is so un-dumbledorish that my mind just doesn't accept him as Dumbledore. Dumby's supposed to be whimsical, eccentric, benevolent, but this actor only portrayed him as a mean old bastard that deserves to be flung off a tower. If it had been Richard Harris playing him, I would surely and most definitely have burst out in fake tears (to make the people around me think I'm very in touch with my sensitive side).

The movie's duration is more than 2 hours, but somehow it didn't seem so long. This film meanders around at a more mellow pace than the previous Potter films, and it injects into it a dark sense of foreboding along with the blossoming relationships. What the movie didn't manage to do was to explain the subtleties for those who haven't been reading the books (I'm at a loss at why that is, seeing how it's practically a religious experience). It didn't explain why Snape's the half-blood Prince, nor did it explain much about Voldermort's choice in Horcruxes.

Overall verdict: It's Harry Potter, for the love of Oprah. Get your ass down to the nearest cinema and watch it, if not for Harry then at least for McGonagall.

Mini Novel: Mind Over Matter

Here is an excerpt from the mini novel I wrote last Christmas. It's a paranormal mystery =)

The link to the story is located below.

________________________________________________________________

“But how do you expect me to help?” Connor asked, although he thinks he already knew the answer.

“I know you have… abilities, Connor.” Karen replied. “You have got to help me find my child. I’ve travelled all the way to the West Coast for your help, I’ll..”

“I’m sorry; I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Connor cut her off. “I have to go now; my mom is expecting me back home.” He started rising from his chair.

“Please!” Karen reached out and grabbed hold of Connor’s hands. “I know you’re psychic, you can find him! You may be the last chance I have of seeing my son, Connor… I’m dying; I just want to see my son once before I leave this world.” Karen pleaded.

Connor froze halfway up. “You’re dying?”

Karen closed her eyes for a moment to compose herself. She took a deep breath, shuddering as she exhaled. “It’s cancer. Pancreatic. The doctor predicts I have a maximum of one year to live.” Karen’s watery eyes met Connor’s. “Fulfill this dying woman’s one last wish. Please?”

________________________________________________________________

Read it here!

Journal Excerpt: 30 December 2007

Wong Tai Sin Temple, Hongkong

They took us to this temple that's famous for their fortune tellars today. There was a whole street full of fortune tellars, and the number of people praying at the temple was just overwhelming. The air was full of chocking joss stick insense. This place is apparantly famous for its amazingly accurate fortune tellars.

I said I wanted my fortune told (cause it's so fun), and we looked for a guy who could speak Mandarin. They almost always only speak Cantonese, which is so annoying since I don't. There's this guy that charges 400HKD for like the whole thing, which includes palm reading, face reading, all the whole nine yards of whatever they do. He looks nice enough, so alright then. My future's in his hands (but since he's reading my palms, I guess it's really in my hands).

He asked for my birth dates, birth times, and checked lots of books. So the conclusion:

- I have too much 水 (water) in my life. It's cause of my birthdate or something.

- I would excell in stuff related to the elements fire, wood and earth, but not water or metal. I would very much like to know what those things are. Like what? Firefighter? I would excel in rushing into a burning building? But would I excel in rushing out?

- My luck this year isn't very good, but it'll get better for the next few years.

- My life would pretty much stablize after 28. So I guess if I'm gonna do anything craz I'll have to do it within the next 12 years.

- My first born would be a boy, second a girl.

- My love life would be complicated, due to the complicated love line on my palm.

- No one is planning or will plan to back stab me.

- There are lots of good people in my life.

- He says I worry about stuff too much (cause eyebrows very close to eyes)

- I'm an easy going person, but when I make up my mind it's difficult to make me change it.

- I'm very kind hearted, but should be weary of people who might make use of that against me.

- My studying skills are not good. I have to put in a lot of effort.

He said more, but I can't remember them now. I guess the first test would be my first born.
His shop number is 88. I guess I should remember it in case I go Hongkong again.

Talking Photo Booth

Oh gosh this is just the most hilarious thing in the world. Saw it on another guy's blog and I just absolutely have to share it.

Dresses That Would Never See The Runway

These are 3 dresses that I designed today. The top left one is basically inspired by nothing. I wanted to do straps again, then decided to add a skirt below, with a slit. The one on the right is inspired by a cake. Cause cake has layers, and the dress has layers. It could also have been inspired by an onion. But cake seems much more tasteful.

This one right here is very Qi Pao inspired. It's very chinese, except for the asymmetrical skirt. It's of different length, as you can see. The varying length doesn't serve any purpose, of course. It's just to look 'sexy'. But seriously, how sexy can it get when there's like flowers all around it. I wanted to do a dragon but that would be too masculine (and too difficult). Kind of like Fergie in a dress.

If Mariah Was A Man...

.. she would be a damn ugly one. But still, the concept of playing both the male and the female role has never been explored by Mariah, and she's gonna do it for the new MV for Obsessed. I was still wondering who the ugly guy they employed to play Eminem was, when Damian told me it was Mariah dressed as a man. Boy, are those makeup artists good.

See: Mariah as herself and Mariah as a man.

Mariah filming the video:

I screwed up 66% of my secondary school

One of the Facebook 'notes' thing.. Lets see how well I screwed up.

[X] Gotten detention.
[ ] Gotten your phone taken away in class.
[ ] Gotten suspended.
[ ] Gotten caught chewing gum.
[X] Gotten caught cheating on a test.

Total: 2

[ ] Arrived late to class more than 5 times
[X] Didn’t do homework over 5 times
[ ] Turned at least 3 projects in late.
[X] Missed school cause you felt like it.
[ ] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class.

Total: 2

[ ] Got your mom / dad etc. to get you out of school.
[X] Texted people during class.
[X] Passed notes.
[X] Threw stuff across the room.
[X] Laughed at the teacher.

Total : 4

[ ] Pulled down the Fire Alarm.
[X] Went on Myspace , Facebook , Xanga , etc. on the computer at school.(Went on Yahoo)
[X] Took Pictures during school hours.
[X] Called someone during School hours.
[X] Listened to an iPod , CD , etc... During class.

Total : 4

[ ] Threw something at the teacher
[X] Went outside the classroom without permission.
[X] Broke the dress code.
[X] Failed a class test.
[X] Ate food during class.

Total :4

[X] Gotten a call from school.
[ ] Couldn’t go on a field trip cause you behaved badly.
[X] Didn’t take your stuff to school.
[ ] Gotten a detention and didn't go.
[ ] Stuck up your middle finger at a teacher when they were not looking.
[X] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear.

Total : 3

[X] Faked your parents signature.
[X] Slept in class.
[ ] Cursed at a teacher to their face.
[X] Copied homework

Total : 3

Multiply No. by three : 22 x 3 = 66

So basically I screwed up 66%.. But I don't see how taking pictures and calling someone while in school counts as screwing up.

Album Cover

I designed a new album cover for myself. Yes, I know, I'm nuts. But whatever.

So I'm like singing all these cover songs, so I said to myself, "You know, James.."

"What?"

"What better name for an album full of covers than 'The Covers'?"

"You're right, James. What a genius!"

So here it is! It's made in the 'Andy Warhol' style, like how he famously did the pictures of Marilyn Monroe.

It's no Mariah cover, but it was the best I could do with what limited photoshop skills I had. Obviously the people working for Mariah knew what they were doing when they came up with the new cover for her new album:

She looks so fantastic. I wonder how many pounds they shaved off her. I can't wait for the new album!

New Dress

I was talking to Charlyn (again) yesterday, and somehow we started talking about Tae Kwon Do uniforms as fashion items. So I improved on the robe idea and came up with this floral print robe-ish thing.

The 'One Artist To Say It All...' Game

I Saw this on Greg's site, thought it was fun. The rules:

-Using only song names from ONE ARTISTE, cleverly answer these questions.
-Try not to repeat a song title. It’s a lot harder than you think.

Pick Your Artist:
Mariah Carey

Are you male or female:
Loverboy

Describe yourself:
Ond And Only

How do you feel about yourself:
The Beautiful Ones

Describe where you currently live:
Underneath The Stars

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Joy Ride

Your favorite form of transportation:
Fly Like A Bird

Your best friend is:
Never Too Far

Your favorite color is:
Rainbow (Interlude)

What’s the weather like:
Through The Rain

Favorite time of day:
Touch My Body

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
For The Record

What’s life to you:
All I've Ever Wanted

What is the best advice you have to give:
Don't Stop Funkin' 4 Jamaica

If you could change your name, what would it be:
Jesus (Oh What A Wonderful Child)

Your favorite food is:
Honey

Thought for the Day:
I Didn't Mean To Turn You On

How I would like to die:
Last Night A DJ Saved My Life

My soul’s present condition:
Vanishing

My motto:
There's Got To Be A Way

The Naughtier Stuff

The one on the left is an upgraded version of the previous 'poncho' dress. It's a naughtier version, with crisscrossing laces all the way down the front and shorter, more outrageous sleeves. Charlyn insists that it be made 'fitting'. The one on the left is the strappy black dress, made entire by wrapping the model in black straps.

Fashion Designing.. At It's Very Best (even I'm not convinced..)

One of my many whims... was to do fashion designing. And these are 2 sketches that I impulsively did. The one on the left is inspired by the rain poncho I was wearing at home (don't ask), the one on the right is greek inspired.

Oh damn they're both so unoriginal and boring. I suck at this. I should just go burn my pencils now.

Speed Dating!

Shane Dawson is just amazing.

The 'I Hate iPod' Poem

You slick, shiny, silvery gadget
I chose Classic over little Nano midget
I had dreams of what owning you would be
Fill you to the brim with Mariah Carey
Blinding light reflecting off your glossy screen
The 400 dollar price tag I couldn't see
Glorious fulfillment brought to my eye a tear
Dazed, I hand my card to the cashier
Receiving the package with trembling hands
I caught a glimpse of my first tryst with romance

But then I had problems with your family
Working with iTunes made us both very cranky
Why does it insist on 'sync' whenever i link
Made me lose videos faster than I can blink
It has the cheek to be so patronizing
When it doesn't even get the meaning of synchronizing
I press sync songs and it syncs videos
Makes me wish I spent the money on a stereo
And does it think it's too good for WMA
You can take your fancy format and shove it up your A

Soon your betrayal became apparent
You hate my guts, that much was evident
Hid my songs and videos away
All 400 videos I amassed till today
You tricked me into doing a total restore
If you were flesh you'd see some gore
Now everything I put in you, you'd reject
Makes me want to crush you like a stinking insect
Now I gotta take you to town to get you serviced
Better pray hard I don't give you a memorial service

Fuck you Apple. You ruined my life.
Better not let me see you when I have a sharp knife.