I designed a new album cover for myself. Yes, I know, I'm nuts. But whatever.
So I'm like singing all these cover songs, so I said to myself, "You know, James.."
"What?"
"What better name for an album full of covers than 'The Covers'?"
"You're right, James. What a genius!"
So here it is! It's made in the 'Andy Warhol' style, like how he famously did the pictures of Marilyn Monroe.
It's no Mariah cover, but it was the best I could do with what limited photoshop skills I had. Obviously the people working for Mariah knew what they were doing when they came up with the new cover for her new album:
She looks so fantastic. I wonder how many pounds they shaved off her. I can't wait for the new album!
You slick, shiny, silvery gadget I chose Classic over little Nano midget I had dreams of what owning you would be Fill you to the brim with Mariah Carey Blinding light reflecting off your glossy screen The 400 dollar price tag I couldn't see Glorious fulfillment brought to my eye a tear Dazed, I hand my card to the cashier Receiving the package with trembling hands I caught a glimpse of my first tryst with romance
But then I had problems with your family Working with iTunes made us both very cranky Why does it insist on 'sync' whenever i link Made me lose videos faster than I can blink It has the cheek to be so patronizing When it doesn't even get the meaning of synchronizing I press sync songs and it syncs videos Makes me wish I spent the money on a stereo And does it think it's too good for WMA You can take your fancy format and shove it up your A
Soon your betrayal became apparent You hate my guts, that much was evident Hid my songs and videos away All 400 videos I amassed till today You tricked me into doing a total restore If you were flesh you'd see some gore Now everything I put in you, you'd reject Makes me want to crush you like a stinking insect Now I gotta take you to town to get you serviced Better pray hard I don't give you a memorial service
Fuck you Apple. You ruined my life. Better not let me see you when I have a sharp knife.
The new single for Mariah's new CD, Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel, has finally dropped! It's called Obsessed, and it's targeted at that loser Eminem's obsession with her.
The feud between the two of them started years back. Eminem made advances, was rejected (obviously Mariah would never sink as low as to date him), and he starts spreading slanderous remarks about her. Mariah has already written a song about him in the Charmbracelet album, called 'Clown', but obviously the subtlely of the message was lost on a mentally impaired person such as Eminem. He most recently called her 'cunt' and a 'fucking whore', among other colorful expletives in his song, 'Bagpipes from Baghdad' (a piece of trash which apparently serves no purpose other than to call her a cunt and a fucking whore).
Mariah chooses to respond in a much more dignified manner. She accurately diagnoised his mental illness with: 'You're delusional / Boy you're losing your mind" and "Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex'. Mariah doesn't need to resort to swear words to make people notice her song, unlike less talented badboy-wannabes that need to insert words almost as vulgar as they look ever few lines just to garner attention.
Listen to the song here!
lyrics: I was like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?"
So oh oh oh oh So oh oh oh oh So oh oh oh oh So oh oh oh oh
Will the real MC please, step to the mike?
So oh oh oh oh So oh oh oh oh So oh oh oh oh So oh oh oh oh
All up in the blogs Saying we met at the bar When I don't even know who you are Saying we up in your house Saying I'm up in your car But you in LA and I'm out at Jermaine's. I'm up in the A You so so lame and no one here even mentions your name It must be the weed. It must be the E Cause you be popping hood You get it popping, Oh
Why you so obsessed with me (Boy I wanna know) Lying that you're sexing me (when everybody knows) It's clear that you're upset with me Finally found a girl that you couldn't impress Last man on the earth still couldn't hit this You're delusional, you're delusional Boy you're losing your mind It's confusing yo, you're confused you know Why you wasting your time Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex Seeing right through you like you're bathing in Windex Boy why you so obsessed with me?
You on your job You hating hard Ain't gon' feed you I'm gonna let you starve Gasping for air I'm ventilation You out of breath Hope you ain't waiting Telling the world how much you miss me But we never were So why you trippin' You a mom and pop I'm a corporation I'm the press conference and you a conversation
Why you so obsessed with me (Boy I wanna know) Lying that you're sexing me (when everybody knows) It's clear that you're upset with me Finally found a girl that you couldn't impress Last man on the earth still couldn't hit this You're delusional, you're delusional Boy you're losing your mind It's confusing yo, you're confused you know Why you wasting your time Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex Seeing right through you like you're bathing in Windex Boy why you so obsessed with me?
Why you so obsessed with me Lying that you're sexing me It's clear that you're upset with me Finally found a girl that you couldn't impress Last man on the earth still couldn't hit this You're delusional, you're delusional Boy you're losing your mind It's confusing yo, you're confused you know Why you wasting your time Got you all fired up with y our napoleon complex Seeing right through you like you're bathing in windex Boy why you so obsessed with me?
No, I didn't undergo some plastic surgery to look like Mariah Carey. What I did, in fact, was to draw out this ambigram (the ones you saw in Angels and Demons) that changes my name:
It's no Mariah cover, but it was the best I could do with what limited photoshop skills I had. Obviously the people working for Mariah knew what they were doing when they came up with the new cover for her new album:
She looks so fantastic. I wonder how many pounds they shaved off her. I can't wait for the new album!
