What's Gaga doing on a SINGING competiton?

Yesterday's guests on American Idol's results show proved to us that the judges were just kidding when they said that AI's a singing competition. Or else, why the hell was Cook and Gaga doing on that stage?

Cook did some tuneless bullshit, attempted falsetto and failed (and ended up doing some strange whoo-ing), and was presented with the 'platinum' album award. Oh please. Even Arch's single can reach platinum.

Then came Gaga (is her real name really so horrible that even such a moniker sounds better?)'s performance. She also attempted (and of course, failed) to do the Christina-patented style of singing (the forceful notes) with the piano. Who's copying whom now, Gaga? (My goodness, even typing that pathetic excuse of a stage name seemed degrading to my keyboard.) She then went into some sort of spastic twitching on stage. For a moment, I thought she was suffering from a heart-attack/spasm and was surprised that no one went to help her.

Just how much longer can she pretend that the only reason she's 'hot' right now is not because people are fascinated with her freakishness, but because they like her (god-forbid) 'singing' talents? And to announce her as the 'queen of the charts'? Please, Seacrest. Which charts are you talking about? The Top-Weirdos of the year?

I wish there was a number to vote her into the bottom 3 instead. Lord knows it'll be on my speed dial.