What Do You See

Sweetest love, I want to know what you see

Does my every imperfection change what you think of me

Do your eyes take you beyond the insecure child

To the heart of mine that was deliriously beguiled

Would you turn away if my eyes met yours

Or would you expose the soul my gaze implores

And when you cast me aside would you become too blind

To notice how my twisted life's been horrifically maligned

My friend and confidant, do you see

It's a curious feeling to be selflessly supportive

I'm happy for you because that's what's expected of me

But have you sensed how deeply I've been poisoned by envy

I hate how my well-wishes sound falsely warm

How they always seem to conceal an introspective thorn

I hate how I can't be completely giving

And not succumb to jealousy from within

And what about you, dearest Mom and Dad

I've accomplished what you want, now aren't you glad

Am I becoming the son you've always envisioned

Never made a choice that invited your derision

I know you love who you think I am

But one day you'll learn some things we cannot plan

You watched me grow up but you cannot see

With my heart's deepest desire you would disagree

Carefree stranger, a moment of your time

When you first saw me - take a second to rewind

What did you think and how did you feel

Did I seem put together, were my faults concealed

What kind of vibes did I seem to transmit

Would I like who I encounter if I paid myself a visit

Is a reflection of my inner self the person you saw

Or do we all hide behind cultivated masks to keep them in awe