Monday, March 22, 2010

Kelly Clarkson - April 27

It's finally happening. It's as if the Concert-Gods above are answering my prayers, because on the 27th of April, 2010, I would be coming face to face with Kelly Clarkson.

Face to face might be exaggerating a little bit, but 8th row comes pretty close. How awesome it would be if I stood out from the crowd because everyone from rows 1 to 7 are too short to matter. So, Concert-Gods, this is my second prayer to you. Make those bastards pay for buying the seats closer to Kelly, for come April 27th, they shall be known as the ones-who-did-not-matter-for-there-is-someone-freakishly-tall-in-row-8.

I can totally picture it. Kelly would be up on stage, singing 'My Life Would Suck Without You', and see me there, standing in a sea of people who did not matter, and our eyes would meet as she points to me while she sings the word 'you'. The stadium would quieten down around us, and all the 'ones who do not matter' would fade away. Mind you, Kelly, there's no need for any pointing during 'Never Again', 'Walk Away' and 'Since U Been Gone'. That's just being mean.

I just love how interactive she is with the audience. Hopefully, she wouldn't encounter that many singlish-ers on her way to the stadium, or she'll be under the impression that the locals speak an alien language unbeknown to the rest of the world, hence cutting down the 'audience-interaction'. After all, that was what happened to Beyonce.

On a totally random note, an English teacher at JJ once tried to be 'in' and pronounced her name as 'Bee-yons'. She even had the nerve to do the, 'Oh, you guys are 18 and you don't know her?', complete with the 'Damn I'm Cool' hair-flip routine. Her expression when I corrected her was just priceless. Sigh, I miss loser teachers.

There's something intriguingly hypnotic about how the most mundane things, when said by an idol, suddenly becomes the most hilarious and interesting topic in the world. I don't want to hear a starbucks waitress talk about how she finds the smell of coffee really aromatic, but lord help the coffee beans if Kelly said that in her concert, for I'll track every last bean down and sniff the crap outta it. Bad puns and lame jokes can somehow crack a whole stadium up when the right person says it, but when the ostracized, ugly kid says the exact same thing in class, all you wanna do is watch as the vultures tear his dead body apart. Dead because you also watched as the big kids squeezed the life right outta him.

In this day and age, it's actually ironically refreshing to watch a singer do what a singer is supposed to do - sing. Here's a real singer who doesn't have to put on disturbing costumes, breathe fire, shake her junk across the stage or cartwheel onto the stage to sell tickets (yes, Gaga, I'm talking about you). In a world where the extravagant spectacle has become more of a draw than the 'singer' herself, it's nice to see someone who can deliver the goods with what she's born with - her voice.

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