Take a look at the overweight kids running (or rather, panting and whining about how their meaty legs are rubbing against each other too much, creating an exorbitant amount of friction that would soon set their pants on fire) around you, especially if you're in America. These lumps of oil factories will one day grow up to defend your country against the aliens. And trust me, they *will* demand that you take them to see your leader one day, and they won't be asking nicely. Their policy has always been 'stun them with the ray guns first, harvest their sperm second, ask question only if absolutely necessary (like in the case of Lady Gaga, they gotta make sure what it is they're really harvesting)'.
Obesity. Just writing that gives me chills of disgust. It used to be just an eyesore, but obesity in children has apparently become such a serious issue in America that it has become a threat to national security. More than a quarter of youngsters in USA are already too fat to be of any use in a war, and human shields only last for that long. I suppose they can always be utilized as emergency flotation devices, but you know how those human rights activists get. You use oooone little fat bastard as a life-buoy and you'll never hear the end of it. It really is truly amazing, how a country and feed and feed itself to such extreme ends that obesity is becoming an epidemic. It'll soon be a crime to be fat, I swear, and I want to be the first in line to call someone a 'fatlon'. Like, a felon, ya know. Geddit? Good.
"Fatlon!" Just testing to see how it rolls off the tongue. It'll catch on, eventually.
Some say it's an illness. That they can't help it, because food tastes too good to resist. Like as if the rest of us would put cheesecake in our mouths and taste piss? Honey, you know you have a problem when you're starting to sweat chocolate sauce. It's never been an 'illness' in the days when people had to hunt for food, instead of having ready-made calorie bombs wrapped like candy available for a few measly dollars.
"Oh, sorry, Father, I can't run the deer down anymore. My high intake of syrup and cream - you know, those growing on the candy floss tree - has given me this strange illness of obesity."
Wake up and smell the coffee, kids. Laziness is the illness, not obesity. If you got off that fat ass and hit the treadmill once in a while, maybe generals wouldn't have to come out of retirement to plan country-wide interventions.
This has confirmed my long time theory of how MacDonalds is run by terrorist cells to weaken the military force of America. Look at that creepy smile of Ronald Macdonalds and tell me that isn't the face of evil staring right back at you.
USA - The beautiful land where privileges turn into crippling diseases.
Obesity. Just writing that gives me chills of disgust. It used to be just an eyesore, but obesity in children has apparently become such a serious issue in America that it has become a threat to national security. More than a quarter of youngsters in USA are already too fat to be of any use in a war, and human shields only last for that long. I suppose they can always be utilized as emergency flotation devices, but you know how those human rights activists get. You use oooone little fat bastard as a life-buoy and you'll never hear the end of it. It really is truly amazing, how a country and feed and feed itself to such extreme ends that obesity is becoming an epidemic. It'll soon be a crime to be fat, I swear, and I want to be the first in line to call someone a 'fatlon'. Like, a felon, ya know. Geddit? Good.
"Fatlon!" Just testing to see how it rolls off the tongue. It'll catch on, eventually.
Some say it's an illness. That they can't help it, because food tastes too good to resist. Like as if the rest of us would put cheesecake in our mouths and taste piss? Honey, you know you have a problem when you're starting to sweat chocolate sauce. It's never been an 'illness' in the days when people had to hunt for food, instead of having ready-made calorie bombs wrapped like candy available for a few measly dollars.
"Oh, sorry, Father, I can't run the deer down anymore. My high intake of syrup and cream - you know, those growing on the candy floss tree - has given me this strange illness of obesity."
Wake up and smell the coffee, kids. Laziness is the illness, not obesity. If you got off that fat ass and hit the treadmill once in a while, maybe generals wouldn't have to come out of retirement to plan country-wide interventions.
This has confirmed my long time theory of how MacDonalds is run by terrorist cells to weaken the military force of America. Look at that creepy smile of Ronald Macdonalds and tell me that isn't the face of evil staring right back at you.
USA - The beautiful land where privileges turn into crippling diseases.
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