Oh gosh this is just the most hilarious thing in the world. Saw it on another guy's blog and I just absolutely have to share it.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Dresses That Would Never See The Runway
These are 3 dresses that I designed today. The top left one is basically inspired by nothing. I wanted to do straps again, then decided to add a skirt below, with a slit. The one on the right is inspired by a cake. Cause cake has layers, and the dress has layers. It could also have been inspired by an onion. But cake seems much more tasteful.
This one right here is very Qi Pao inspired. It's very chinese, except for the asymmetrical skirt. It's of different length, as you can see. The varying length doesn't serve any purpose, of course. It's just to look 'sexy'. But seriously, how sexy can it get when there's like flowers all around it. I wanted to do a dragon but that would be too masculine (and too difficult). Kind of like Fergie in a dress.
If Mariah Was A Man...
.. she would be a damn ugly one. But still, the concept of playing both the male and the female role has never been explored by Mariah, and she's gonna do it for the new MV for Obsessed. I was still wondering who the ugly guy they employed to play Eminem was, when Damian told me it was Mariah dressed as a man. Boy, are those makeup artists good.
See: Mariah as herself and Mariah as a man.
Mariah filming the video:
See: Mariah as herself and Mariah as a man.
Mariah filming the video:
Friday, June 26, 2009
I screwed up 66% of my secondary school
One of the Facebook 'notes' thing.. Lets see how well I screwed up.
[X] Gotten detention.
[ ] Gotten your phone taken away in class.
[ ] Gotten suspended.
[ ] Gotten caught chewing gum.
[X] Gotten caught cheating on a test.
Total: 2
[ ] Arrived late to class more than 5 times
[X] Didn’t do homework over 5 times
[ ] Turned at least 3 projects in late.
[X] Missed school cause you felt like it.
[ ] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class.
Total: 2
[ ] Got your mom / dad etc. to get you out of school.
[X] Texted people during class.
[X] Passed notes.
[X] Threw stuff across the room.
[X] Laughed at the teacher.
Total : 4
[ ] Pulled down the Fire Alarm.
[X] Went on Myspace , Facebook , Xanga , etc. on the computer at school.(Went on Yahoo)
[X] Took Pictures during school hours.
[X] Called someone during School hours.
[X] Listened to an iPod , CD , etc... During class.
Total : 4
[ ] Threw something at the teacher
[X] Went outside the classroom without permission.
[X] Broke the dress code.
[X] Failed a class test.
[X] Ate food during class.
Total :4
[X] Gotten a call from school.
[ ] Couldn’t go on a field trip cause you behaved badly.
[X] Didn’t take your stuff to school.
[ ] Gotten a detention and didn't go.
[ ] Stuck up your middle finger at a teacher when they were not looking.
[X] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear.
Total : 3
[X] Faked your parents signature.
[X] Slept in class.
[ ] Cursed at a teacher to their face.
[X] Copied homework
Total : 3
Multiply No. by three : 22 x 3 = 66
So basically I screwed up 66%.. But I don't see how taking pictures and calling someone while in school counts as screwing up.
[X] Gotten detention.
[ ] Gotten your phone taken away in class.
[ ] Gotten suspended.
[ ] Gotten caught chewing gum.
[X] Gotten caught cheating on a test.
Total: 2
[ ] Arrived late to class more than 5 times
[X] Didn’t do homework over 5 times
[ ] Turned at least 3 projects in late.
[X] Missed school cause you felt like it.
[ ] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class.
Total: 2
[ ] Got your mom / dad etc. to get you out of school.
[X] Texted people during class.
[X] Passed notes.
[X] Threw stuff across the room.
[X] Laughed at the teacher.
Total : 4
[ ] Pulled down the Fire Alarm.
[X] Went on Myspace , Facebook , Xanga , etc. on the computer at school.(Went on Yahoo)
[X] Took Pictures during school hours.
[X] Called someone during School hours.
[X] Listened to an iPod , CD , etc... During class.
Total : 4
[ ] Threw something at the teacher
[X] Went outside the classroom without permission.
[X] Broke the dress code.
[X] Failed a class test.
[X] Ate food during class.
Total :4
[X] Gotten a call from school.
[ ] Couldn’t go on a field trip cause you behaved badly.
[X] Didn’t take your stuff to school.
[ ] Gotten a detention and didn't go.
[ ] Stuck up your middle finger at a teacher when they were not looking.
[X] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear.
Total : 3
[X] Faked your parents signature.
[X] Slept in class.
[ ] Cursed at a teacher to their face.
[X] Copied homework
Total : 3
Multiply No. by three : 22 x 3 = 66
So basically I screwed up 66%.. But I don't see how taking pictures and calling someone while in school counts as screwing up.
Album Cover
I designed a new album cover for myself. Yes, I know, I'm nuts. But whatever.
So I'm like singing all these cover songs, so I said to myself, "You know, James.."
"What better name for an album full of covers than 'The Covers'?"
So here it is! It's made in the 'Andy Warhol' style, like how he famously did the pictures of Marilyn Monroe.
It's no Mariah cover, but it was the best I could do with what limited photoshop skills I had. Obviously the people working for Mariah knew what they were doing when they came up with the new cover for her new album:
She looks so fantastic. I wonder how many pounds they shaved off her. I can't wait for the new album!
So I'm like singing all these cover songs, so I said to myself, "You know, James.."
"What?"
"What better name for an album full of covers than 'The Covers'?"
"You're right, James. What a genius!"
So here it is! It's made in the 'Andy Warhol' style, like how he famously did the pictures of Marilyn Monroe.
It's no Mariah cover, but it was the best I could do with what limited photoshop skills I had. Obviously the people working for Mariah knew what they were doing when they came up with the new cover for her new album:
She looks so fantastic. I wonder how many pounds they shaved off her. I can't wait for the new album!
New Dress
The 'One Artist To Say It All...' Game
I Saw this on Greg's site, thought it was fun. The rules:
-Using only song names from ONE ARTISTE, cleverly answer these questions.
-Try not to repeat a song title. It’s a lot harder than you think.
-Using only song names from ONE ARTISTE, cleverly answer these questions.
-Try not to repeat a song title. It’s a lot harder than you think.
Pick Your Artist:
Mariah Carey
Are you male or female:
Loverboy
Describe yourself:
Ond And Only
How do you feel about yourself:
The Beautiful Ones
Describe where you currently live:
Underneath The Stars
If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Joy Ride
Your favorite form of transportation:
Fly Like A Bird
Your best friend is:
Never Too Far
Your favorite color is:
Rainbow (Interlude)
What’s the weather like:
Through The Rain
Favorite time of day:
Touch My Body
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
For The Record
What’s life to you:
All I've Ever Wanted
What is the best advice you have to give:
Don't Stop Funkin' 4 Jamaica
If you could change your name, what would it be:
Jesus (Oh What A Wonderful Child)
Your favorite food is:
Honey
Thought for the Day:
I Didn't Mean To Turn You On
How I would like to die:
Last Night A DJ Saved My Life
My soul’s present condition:
Vanishing
My motto:
There's Got To Be A Way
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The Naughtier Stuff
The one on the left is an upgraded version of the previous 'poncho' dress. It's a naughtier version, with crisscrossing laces all the way down the front and shorter, more outrageous sleeves. Charlyn insists that it be made 'fitting'. The one on the left is the strappy black dress, made entire by wrapping the model in black straps.
Fashion Designing.. At It's Very Best (even I'm not convinced..)
One of my many whims... was to do fashion designing. And these are 2 sketches that I impulsively did. The one on the left is inspired by the rain poncho I was wearing at home (don't ask), the one on the right is greek inspired.
Oh damn they're both so unoriginal and boring. I suck at this. I should just go burn my pencils now.
Oh damn they're both so unoriginal and boring. I suck at this. I should just go burn my pencils now.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
The 'I Hate iPod' Poem
You slick, shiny, silvery gadget
I chose Classic over little Nano midget
I had dreams of what owning you would be
Fill you to the brim with Mariah Carey
Blinding light reflecting off your glossy screen
The 400 dollar price tag I couldn't see
Glorious fulfillment brought to my eye a tear
Dazed, I hand my card to the cashier
Receiving the package with trembling hands
I caught a glimpse of my first tryst with romance
But then I had problems with your family
Working with iTunes made us both very cranky
Why does it insist on 'sync' whenever i link
Made me lose videos faster than I can blink
It has the cheek to be so patronizing
When it doesn't even get the meaning of synchronizing
I press sync songs and it syncs videos
Makes me wish I spent the money on a stereo
And does it think it's too good for WMA
You can take your fancy format and shove it up your A
Soon your betrayal became apparent
You hate my guts, that much was evident
Hid my songs and videos away
All 400 videos I amassed till today
You tricked me into doing a total restore
If you were flesh you'd see some gore
Now everything I put in you, you'd reject
Makes me want to crush you like a stinking insect
Now I gotta take you to town to get you serviced
Better pray hard I don't give you a memorial service
Fuck you Apple. You ruined my life.
Better not let me see you when I have a sharp knife.
I chose Classic over little Nano midget
I had dreams of what owning you would be
Fill you to the brim with Mariah Carey
Blinding light reflecting off your glossy screen
The 400 dollar price tag I couldn't see
Glorious fulfillment brought to my eye a tear
Dazed, I hand my card to the cashier
Receiving the package with trembling hands
I caught a glimpse of my first tryst with romance
But then I had problems with your family
Working with iTunes made us both very cranky
Why does it insist on 'sync' whenever i link
Made me lose videos faster than I can blink
It has the cheek to be so patronizing
When it doesn't even get the meaning of synchronizing
I press sync songs and it syncs videos
Makes me wish I spent the money on a stereo
And does it think it's too good for WMA
You can take your fancy format and shove it up your A
Soon your betrayal became apparent
You hate my guts, that much was evident
Hid my songs and videos away
All 400 videos I amassed till today
You tricked me into doing a total restore
If you were flesh you'd see some gore
Now everything I put in you, you'd reject
Makes me want to crush you like a stinking insect
Now I gotta take you to town to get you serviced
Better pray hard I don't give you a memorial service
Fuck you Apple. You ruined my life.
Better not let me see you when I have a sharp knife.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Obsessed with 'Obsessed'!
The new single for Mariah's new CD, Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel, has finally dropped! It's called Obsessed, and it's targeted at that loser Eminem's obsession with her.
The feud between the two of them started years back. Eminem made advances, was rejected (obviously Mariah would never sink as low as to date him), and he starts spreading slanderous remarks about her. Mariah has already written a song about him in the Charmbracelet album, called 'Clown', but obviously the subtlely of the message was lost on a mentally impaired person such as Eminem. He most recently called her 'cunt' and a 'fucking whore', among other colorful expletives in his song, 'Bagpipes from Baghdad' (a piece of trash which apparently serves no purpose other than to call her a cunt and a fucking whore).
Mariah chooses to respond in a much more dignified manner. She accurately diagnoised his mental illness with: 'You're delusional / Boy you're losing your mind" and "Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex'. Mariah doesn't need to resort to swear words to make people notice her song, unlike less talented badboy-wannabes that need to insert words almost as vulgar as they look ever few lines just to garner attention.
The feud between the two of them started years back. Eminem made advances, was rejected (obviously Mariah would never sink as low as to date him), and he starts spreading slanderous remarks about her. Mariah has already written a song about him in the Charmbracelet album, called 'Clown', but obviously the subtlely of the message was lost on a mentally impaired person such as Eminem. He most recently called her 'cunt' and a 'fucking whore', among other colorful expletives in his song, 'Bagpipes from Baghdad' (a piece of trash which apparently serves no purpose other than to call her a cunt and a fucking whore).
Mariah chooses to respond in a much more dignified manner. She accurately diagnoised his mental illness with: 'You're delusional / Boy you're losing your mind" and "Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex'. Mariah doesn't need to resort to swear words to make people notice her song, unlike less talented badboy-wannabes that need to insert words almost as vulgar as they look ever few lines just to garner attention.
Listen to the song here!
lyrics:
I was like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?"
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
Will the real MC please, step to the mike?
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
All up in the blogs
Saying we met at the bar
When I don't even know who you are
Saying we up in your house
Saying I'm up in your car
But you in LA and I'm out at Jermaine's.
I'm up in the A
You so so lame
and no one here even mentions your name
It must be the weed. It must be the E
Cause you be popping hood
You get it popping, Oh
Why you so obsessed with me (Boy I wanna know)
Lying that you're sexing me (when everybody knows)
It's clear that you're upset with me
Finally found a girl that you couldn't impress
Last man on the earth still couldn't hit this
You're delusional, you're delusional
Boy you're losing your mind
It's confusing yo, you're confused you know
Why you wasting your time
Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex
Seeing right through you like you're bathing in Windex
Boy why you so obsessed with me?
You on your job
You hating hard
Ain't gon' feed you
I'm gonna let you starve
Gasping for air
I'm ventilation
You out of breath
Hope you ain't waiting
Telling the world how much you miss me
But we never were
So why you trippin'
You a mom and pop
I'm a corporation
I'm the press conference
and you a conversation
Why you so obsessed with me (Boy I wanna know)
Lying that you're sexing me (when everybody knows)
It's clear that you're upset with me
Finally found a girl that you couldn't impress
Last man on the earth still couldn't hit this
You're delusional, you're delusional
Boy you're losing your mind
It's confusing yo, you're confused you know
Why you wasting your time
Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex
Seeing right through you like you're bathing in Windex
Boy why you so obsessed with me?
Why you so obsessed with me
Lying that you're sexing me
It's clear that you're upset with me
Finally found a girl that you couldn't impress
Last man on the earth still couldn't hit this
You're delusional, you're delusional
Boy you're losing your mind
It's confusing yo, you're confused you know
Why you wasting your time
Got you all fired up with y our napoleon complex
Seeing right through you like you're bathing in windex
Boy why you so obsessed with me?
Sunday, June 7, 2009
SPROUT! Is the best way to relax
Over the past 2 days, I've been 'volunteering' with Jo at this SPROUT thing, some project that Damian was part of. For the first day we did sketches at Chinese Garden (it was surprisingly relaxing), and the second day we went to Sungei Buloh to do photography. We were supposed to take photos of the insects but why take photos of little creepies when you can pretend to be on America's Next Top Model?
Hence, we somehow ended up with these:
Hence, we somehow ended up with these:
Friday, June 5, 2009
Amazing Bible quotes
"All who curse father or mother shall be put to death; having cursed father or mother, their blood is upon them.If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbour, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death. The man who lies with his father’s wife has uncovered his father’s nakedness; both of them shall be put to death; their blood is upon them. If a man lies with his daughter-in-law, both of them shall be put to death; they have committed perversion; their blood is upon them. If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death; their blood is upon them. [Leviticus, chapter 20]"
I conclude from this quote that:
- By right I should already be put to death, since I've more than one occasion cursed at my parents. Hmm.. Do you think they'll use lethal injection or hanging? I sure hope it's not the electric char!
- A man must never tell a lie to another man, since (for some unfathomable reason), he'll be put to death for it.
"When you buy a male Hebrew slave, he shall serve for six years, but in the seventh he shall go out a free person, without debt. If he comes in single, he shall go out single; if he comes in married, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall be her master’s and he shall go out alone. But if the slave declares, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out a free person’, then his master shall bring him before God. He shall be brought to the door or the doorpost; and his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him for life. [Exodus, chapter 21] "
I conclude from this quote that:
- It is alright to keep slaves, but only for 6 years. Oh dang. Now I gotta go release Makiki. At least I can get to keep his wife and children.
- Note to self: ask Makiki if he loves his wife and children enough to want to serve me for life.
- Note to self again: Find an awl (what ever that is) to pierce his ear with.
"I desire, then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or argument; also that the women should dress themselves modestly and decently in suitable clothing, not with their hair braided, or with gold, pearls, or expensive clothes, but with good works, as is proper for women who profess reverence for God. Let a woman learn in silence with full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing, provided they continue in faith and love and holiness, with modesty. [1 Timothy, chapter 2]"
This is extremely illuminating. I can't understand how some people think this is nonsense. I mean, come on. The extremely convincing facts are staring you in the face. How can you not follow a book that advocates the execution of homosexuals and people who curse their parents. Plus, slavery and the oppression of women are such common things in society today, hence the Bible is completely relevant.
I conclude from this quote that:
- By right I should already be put to death, since I've more than one occasion cursed at my parents. Hmm.. Do you think they'll use lethal injection or hanging? I sure hope it's not the electric char!
- A man must never tell a lie to another man, since (for some unfathomable reason), he'll be put to death for it.
"When you buy a male Hebrew slave, he shall serve for six years, but in the seventh he shall go out a free person, without debt. If he comes in single, he shall go out single; if he comes in married, then his wife shall go out with him. If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the wife and her children shall be her master’s and he shall go out alone. But if the slave declares, ‘I love my master, my wife, and my children; I will not go out a free person’, then his master shall bring him before God. He shall be brought to the door or the doorpost; and his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him for life. [Exodus, chapter 21] "
I conclude from this quote that:
- It is alright to keep slaves, but only for 6 years. Oh dang. Now I gotta go release Makiki. At least I can get to keep his wife and children.
- Note to self: ask Makiki if he loves his wife and children enough to want to serve me for life.
- Note to self again: Find an awl (what ever that is) to pierce his ear with.
"I desire, then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or argument; also that the women should dress themselves modestly and decently in suitable clothing, not with their hair braided, or with gold, pearls, or expensive clothes, but with good works, as is proper for women who profess reverence for God. Let a woman learn in silence with full submission. I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing, provided they continue in faith and love and holiness, with modesty. [1 Timothy, chapter 2]"
I conclude from this quote that :
- All women that doll up are sinners and have to be condemned to hell or die. All that promote the horrible sin of dressing up, such as fashion designers, hair salon owners, boutique owners, make up artists etc are to be dealt with in the same way.
- No girl is allowed to speak in class.
- All schools must immediately fire all the female teachers.
- It is alright to be sexist, since the Bible says so. And, as we all know, the Bible is written by the smartest person, hence it is correct.
- All women that doll up are sinners and have to be condemned to hell or die. All that promote the horrible sin of dressing up, such as fashion designers, hair salon owners, boutique owners, make up artists etc are to be dealt with in the same way.
- No girl is allowed to speak in class.
- All schools must immediately fire all the female teachers.
- It is alright to be sexist, since the Bible says so. And, as we all know, the Bible is written by the smartest person, hence it is correct.
This is extremely illuminating. I can't understand how some people think this is nonsense. I mean, come on. The extremely convincing facts are staring you in the face. How can you not follow a book that advocates the execution of homosexuals and people who curse their parents. Plus, slavery and the oppression of women are such common things in society today, hence the Bible is completely relevant.
I wish I learned the alphabet like that..
You know how sometimes they say on American Idol that if you can sing, you can sing anything, including the alphabet? Patti seems to have taken on that challenge.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Brainwashing- Britney Spears style
What do you do if you wanna make sure your baby nephew loves Britney Spears as well? Brainwash him!
Monday, June 1, 2009
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