Teacup Pigs..... and Crazy Dictators

Brace yourselves for a full onslaught of adorable-ness that would make even Josef Stalin melt into a puddle of evil-dictator. Hilter would shed tears of joy as he nuzzled these little folks (before the Dwarf activists come screaming for a lawsuit, I have to clarify that I'm not talking about little people) to his Chaplin-mustached face. Even Kim Jong Il would be in such a good mood that he pardons all the Americans from hard labor.

Seriously though. Sentenced to hard labor? Isn't that what every other North Korean civilian is doing on a day to day basis. Basically, if you're caught in N Korea, you're punished by receiving their citizenship.

Kim Jong Il: "You pesky American journalists! Stop illegally coming into our land of glory and awesome! We're so damn amazing and you just want to steal all our secrets! You're not making me give up my 'Dictatorship for Dummies: How to Run a Country into the Ground' self-help book!'

Journalist: 'Uh, your people are starving to death right in front of my eyes. In fact, there goes another one right there.'

Kim Jong Il: 'He's just resting his eyes.'

Journalist: 'Uh, no, your soldiers are already carrying away his body.'

Kim Jong Il: 'Fucking Americans! You're gonna regret this! Make no mistake: you will be put through so much torment, you'd wish you were never born! You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna make you live like one of us!'

Journalist: 'Nooooo!'

Boy, I really do digress. I was going to talk about cute little teacup pigs, but crazy dictators seem like such an intriguing topic now. I hope that journalist's story ends well.

The lastest fad in the pet world comes in the form of adorable little pigs. This species of pig can only grow to roughly the size of one's palm, due to some genetic modification. Right now, though, they are only available in Britian, and cost around a thousand dollars per piglet. Only one farm in the whole of Britian sells these lovable animals, and the owner demands that you buy two at one go, so that they can keep each other company. She apparently does background checks as well, to make sure the owner can care for these pigs properly, and have plenty of time to play with them. I know right. Snobbish bitch.

Come to think of it, if there was gonna be that much drama, I'd rather get a kid. At least kids can give you that satisfying sense of self-contentment when you yell at them.