Dear Friend,

I don't like to admit it, but sometimes I get sucked into a spiral of jealousy. When things seem to be going so well for the ones around me, I put on the face I'm expected to put on and I pretend that I'm happy for them. But I'm not. If you're not happy for yourself then what is the whole point of happiness? Personal happiness is a right you owe yourself, not a gift you can magnanimously bestow upon others. I think we can be happy for someone else when we already have what they have, and then we can go, "oh I'm so happy you've finally caught up."But I think it's really difficult to look at someone who has more and be happy when you see what you haven't got. 

But I have got a lot, I think. We are the human race but our existence isn't a race. I rather believe it isn't all a big competition to get to the finish line because there really isn't anything beyond that. I like to believe that we all have a time when something we desire will come to us, at the moment when we're most poised to receive it. When I go to bed tonight I don't want to see scenes of what could be, I want to turn that all off and be content in the warmth of the luxury I'm surrounded by. I know I'm loved. I feel it in the embrace of my family. I hear it in the laughter of my friends. One day I'll see it reflected in the eyes of someone I love. That day won't be today, but that's okay. It won't be for a while, that's okay too.

What do we do when we're most jealous of the ones we love the most? Let go of the pettiness? Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. 

With love,

Your friend