Perpetual Kid

The single most delightful thing about the Internet is its capacity to allow you access to all the junk floating around the internetal-space. Because the internet is made up of all the empty air around us, and information is just.. floating around us, isn't it? I don't know, I'm neither a computer science major nor a loser. What StumbleUpon provides us is a service that basically spoon-feeds us rubbish, instead of us having to painstaking look for it. With a click of the 'Stumble Again!' button, pages upon pages of delicious nonsense pops up for your easy reading pleasure. And like all things bad for you, I am completely addicted to it. Who wouldn't want to stumble upon videos of cats playing the piano, read about the social and economic benefits of marijuana presented in cartoon form, or photos of squirrels suckling on cat tits? That's right, ladies and gentlemen, after thousands of years of civilization, I sincerely believe that we have reached the pinnacle of entertainment.

A truly titillating site I stumbled upon was PerpetualKid.com, an online store that sells quirky and imaginative household items. (If you're getting mistakenly excited about the word 'titillating' because you see 'tit' in it, please look it up on the dictionary. I'm sorry but it has nothing to do with breasts.) They offer the cutest kitchen and living wares, some practical, some not, but all equally delightful to look at. What immediately caught my eye was 'The Ex' knife holder set, a wonderful contraption shaped like a man, that basically holds knives in the deep wounds you put in him. One through the head, one through the leg, one through the crotch - I've never seen anything more adorable. It retails for $70 and comes with all the very study knives, so it was a very good deal to someone who needs knives very frequently, being a domestic-god and all. Now if they only had a photo holder in the head area to slot in a picture of a real ex, it would just be absolutely perfect.

Something else I've always wanted but never had the ability to buy (due to my previous lack of a credit card and geographical issues - living in SG puts such a cramp in online shopping) was the Shark Fin Ice Tray. You put water into an ice tray shaped like shark dorsal fins - and when it's all solid and hard, because that's how making ice tends to work - you just pop it into a drink and sing the Jaws theme as the fins bobble merrily in your drink. Problem with this though; the fins don't really stay as upright as one would like it to, making them look more like sharks with hangovers or serious vertigo. Nothing is less scary than a shark with a limp, crooked dorsal fin. I also realized that just having ice fins was not as fun as I thought it would be, which is why I'm now in the stages of finding little ice people i can put in as screaming-swimmers.

As it's nearing the end of my semester, as well as my lease here at Lucky, I'm not really getting a whole lot of apartment-stuff. I most definitely would for my new place in the fall, as I'll be living alone in my totally all-me apartment. I don't know what possessed me last year to think that I could live with strangers. The blame certainly falls on damn TV shows, for making me believe that everyone's random roommates would turn out to be beautiful, funny and loyal like the Friends, as well as clever and wisecracking like the Golden Girls. Oh, the things I would do when I finally have my own place. I'd do everything completely butt-naked, for one thing. Not that I'm some huge weirdo, but I just like to have the option of lying on my own goddamned couch with everything spilling out and not have anyone judge me, except for that creep across the street watching me with his high powered binoculars, but I would just let him because it makes me feel charitable and giving. Hell, I'd even cook naked. Except for foods that splatter, of course.