I finally did the unthinkable - I stuck my fist into the hole and explored the soft, gooey insides, then dug out the sticky mess. Carving Jack-'o'-lanterns, an age old tradition for Halloween, was a treat denied to me (and my Singaporean friends) for most of my life. How do they expect kids to grow up normal when we're not even allowed, once in a while, to use big sharp knives to stab at helpless fruits and mercilessly gut it, then carve sadistic pictures on its cold, dead face. So, naturally, when the opportunity came to carve pumpkins with the PiLam guys, I just knew I had to jump right in and completely devote my soul to the art of fruit-mutilation.
I had a long debate with the voices in my head whether pumpkins are vegetables or fruits, but since they grow on vines and have seeds, I'm gonna go ahead and call it a fruit.
A little folklore before we dive into the actual carving: There's some ridiculously long winded story about how a peasant thief called Jack managed to trick the devil into not killing him, so when he died, he wasn't able to go to heaven cause of his thieving, sinful ways, but was not allowed into hell either cause the devil's just that kinda vengeful bitch. So Jack went to the ball and met the prince, but had to leave at the strike of midnight before his pumpkin-coach turned back into a useless regular pumpkin.
Wait, I have a feeling I'm getting stories mixed up. So the pumpkin-coach turned back into a pumpkin while Jack was still riding in it (with his one glass slipper), and he was squashed and trapped in there and became a Jack-lantern? Ah, whatever.
So we all claimed our giant pumpkins, and gathered around the table (momentarily an abattoir) like a devil-worshiping cult ready to commit mass murder. We all stabbed our pumpkins with the cute little saw as Thriller played in the background, and proceeded to saw out a little circle around the stem as the cap. Yup, cause we're that kind of sadistic - we'd cut off a piece of you, then still use that bit to close you back up and complete the monstrosity. We'd then have to use a tiny plastic scooper to scrape the insides of the pumpkin and yank out all the gunk and guts of the poor fellow. I would have preferred a garden spade for this activity, but nope, a two inch piece of plastic is all you're getting.
Then comes the heart of the operation - the carving of the face. Now some of us like to just start stabbing and sawing, and see where it takes you, but I'm the sort who needs a clear plan on how my pumpkin is gonna turn out to be. I'm not about to let my pumpkin-virginity stand in the way of a good pumpkin-frolic. The plan was for my fruit to eventually resemble Jack Skellington from Nightmare Before Christmas, and after much hard work and alcohol-induced artistic abilities:
It could have been better, but considering how I did it free hand, cause of the lack of markers, I'm pretty proud of it. The mouth is slightly too big and the wind kept blowing the candle out, so it's a real shame people couldn't get to enjoy this work of pure genius for extended periods of time. But it is what it is, ya know.
All the 20 pumpkins were lighted up and put on display on the roof outside the house, including the Pi Lambda Phi letters, a weed leaf, a midget, the UW logo, and a leaking penis. Very classy.
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