According to the Bible...

A little something for bible thumpers who enjoy using the Bible as a justification for their various bigoted, sexist and homophobic ways. 


Some things the Bible bans:

Shaving (Leviticus 19:27)

Cursing (Ephesians 5:4)

Gossip (Leviticus 19:16)

Football on Saturdays and Sundays (Exodus 20:8)

Eating lobster (Leviticus 11:10)

Eating pork (Leviticus 11:7)

Cotton/Polyester blends (Leviticus 19:19)

Associating with women who are having their periods (Leviticus 15:19-20)

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned."

"What is the nature of your sin, my child"

"I ate lobster."

"Get the fuck out of my confessional booth."