10 Ten Myths About Introverts

Being a frequently misunderstood introvert ("boohoo no one gets me!"), I feel the need to share this list on the top things introverts are frequently accused of, and why they're all a crock of bull.

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.

Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.

Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.

On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.

Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.

Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.

Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof.

Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.

Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.

Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

(Source: carlkingcreative.com)

According to the Bible...

A little something for bible thumpers who enjoy using the Bible as a justification for their various bigoted, sexist and homophobic ways. 


Some things the Bible bans:

Shaving (Leviticus 19:27)

Cursing (Ephesians 5:4)

Gossip (Leviticus 19:16)

Football on Saturdays and Sundays (Exodus 20:8)

Eating lobster (Leviticus 11:10)

Eating pork (Leviticus 11:7)

Cotton/Polyester blends (Leviticus 19:19)

Associating with women who are having their periods (Leviticus 15:19-20)

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned."

"What is the nature of your sin, my child"

"I ate lobster."

"Get the fuck out of my confessional booth."

A Month To Go

I think the first and most overwhelming sensation I experienced upon arriving in Singapore was that of sinking disappointment. It's weird, because I expected to be knocked over with that bursting joy of homecoming. Isn't that the quintessential feeling one has to go through upon returning home after a trip that lasted a whole 10 months? I've not seen my parents, my sister, my friends (apart from Damian), my beagle - for all this time, and of course I miss them all dearly, but what is it about seeing that familiar Changi Airport control tower, that 'Welcome to Singapore' Banner they have outside the airport, that now jarring tone of Singlish, that fills me with such crushing disappointment, instead of an expectant elation?

Recently, another friend of mine with pretty similar circumstances as me, except she went to UK instead of the US, also remarked that homecoming was more of a disappointment than anything. This got me reflecting, as I do with much regularity given my barren schedule, upon my seemingly heartless side. Was it the very familiarity that makes us feel this way? I've been constantly traveling and coming upon the exotic, strange, fascinating and weird, and actually constructing a semblance of home out there. To return to a place where everything is exactly the same as when I left it, seems to belittle everything I have accomplished on my own. It feels as if after all that I've been through the past year, here I am again, back to square one. It's completely silly to think that way, of course, having elevated myself from a freshman to a sophomore in the course of my absence, but it still feels unnatural to not have to begin discovering this new piece of foreign land. 

Perhaps returning to a place I once called 'home' is making me question the very definition of what 'home' constitutes. A sanctuary where one feels sheltered and secure, an exclusively private space to have some alone time, or simply a nest to return to for bedtimes? I had been calling that one room in my Lucky Apartment home for the past 10 months, only to relinquish it after two semesters. Seeing how my lease for The Towers doesn't start till August, I'm practically homeless in the US now. Perhaps its the drifting uncertainty of my 'home' that's throwing me off. Where do I truly belong, if my 'home' changes with such regularity? I pride myself for being able to just get up and move on, plough forward, when the time calls for it, but do we all secretly long for somewhere that's permanent and stable? A place we can count on. Sometimes it seems like such a weakness, to require this emblem of stability. Other times I feel like maybe I'm rushing from one place to another in order to find that one perfect location that I know can contain me in my entirety, to base my world around. My true home. 

It's as if time is on a complete standstill while I'm here. This doesn't feel like my real life anymore, and day to day, I get that consequence-free wooziness in my head, the kind that accompanies a vacation. I feel as if nothing I do here makes any sort of long term impact on my actual life in the US. Of course, given the recent developments with my dating life, there is nothing I like more than to have that brought into my US life. But I guess sometimes life just throws you curve balls and you just have to make the best out of it at the moment, however excruciatingly hard it may come to be. Of course I know it's going to hurt, we both do. Friends constantly remind me so. But surely they know that if I had given up on this now, the heartbreak that accompanies our eventual parting of ways would be nothing compared to the agony of the uncertainty that would haunt me for ages. For once, I don't have an ulterior agenda for this relationship. It doesn't have that fairytale pressure of 'forever-lasting', it doesn't have to be an epic and beautiful love. It doesn't have to be anything at all, all I want is to just be.

I want my time away to have meant something. I want to know that everything I have worked for has led me down a path where I've encountered what anyone else would not have. I want to have cultivated the mental capacity to recognize it when utter ignorance is uttered by those too afraid to venture out. Mostly, I long for a validation, a clear sign that my efforts did not go to waste. For someone to say, completely sober, "Look at how he's changed, it would not have been possible without his experiences and death-defying struggles."

Do I fear going back, now that I've been through a year of it and know what I'll be up against? Yes, I do. I know the ache of loneliness, the dazed detachment during significant days, and not having someone from my inner circle to talk to. But I also know that there is much to look forward to. Rushing new pledges for the Fall semester, moving in and decorating my new apartment in The Towers, coming into contact with numerous new fields of study... Being a sophomore. However tough it is, it's my real life now. And I'll enjoy the one month of holidays I have left to the best of my abilities.